Most importantly, we're very thankful our boy has been so healthy and he'll be 4 months next week. On a walk with him the other day using the "bjorn borg" carrier it was crystal clear to me that if I had to press a button to die 100 trillion deaths for him I'd do it immediately. I suspect I'll never have to push such a button. But I've realized that I'll probably have 100 trillion opportunities (I hope!) made up of moments of every day for years and years that call for sacrifice and inconvenience for our little guy. This will be hard but good.